Time of Reflection & Transformation

Change is rarely easy, though the step I took today was one of the easiest and most substantial I have made in my own life thus far. Today I became an Episcopalian.

The rear gallery organ and window at St. Bart's Episcopal Church in Manhattan.

This decision was a long time coming. My first visit to a service was the first weekend in November in 2022. I had been a church musician for a significant amount of time before, but had seldom been able to attend church services of other campuses because of my job responsibilities. Originally, I thought I would check out the choir and the organ and just generally be nosy about an Episcopal house of worship. Stepping through the front portal, however, I found something entirely different. Immediate, warm welcome from the ushers in the sanctuary. Everyone who took a seat in the chairs around me introduced themselves and asked me how I came to the church, whether I was new or visiting, what I had thought about New York City, etc. It happened to be a day when they dedicated a new baptismal font and held baptisms – following the service I found out one of the new members of the church grew up blocks away from me in Washington, Missouri! Everything about the service made me excited about religion in ways that I hadn't experienced since I was a young boy. I knew I had to go back.

In the intervening years, I spent a lot of time on Sunday afternoons after completing the rounds of work for the two churches I was music director of in St. Louis, spending another hour and change watching the morning's service from St. Bart's. I wrote some occasional letters to clergy who preached particularly well and felt an indescribable pull to the faith and that community in particular. I wasn't sure, however, that the reality of attending weekly services would measure up to my first experience and what I had built up in my head. I was afraid of losing something I thought I had lost forever.

Once I moved to New York, I decided to go back and see if it really was as good as I had remembered. It was. And after talking with several clergy during the weeks leading up to Lent, I decided to enroll in the Pathfinders course which teaches more about the Episcopal faith and practice. (More stories about my journey to come.)

So today I took the step I needed to be officially received by the Episcopal Church in the Diocese of New York by the bishop of New York, the Right Reverened Matthew F. Heyd. I know this is just the start of something new for me, but it feels right.

Speaking of feeling right, today marks the first day of Pride Month! In recent years I have been trying to wear my identity with more confidence, and being received into the Episcopal communion on the same day that the bishop blessed the progress pride flag that will hang on the front of what I can now claim as my church was something I will never forget.

Over the next few weeks in June, I will post a bit more about my experiences in the Church, my Pride month, and what it means to be yourself – I'm embracing the struggle and joy of change and hope that a few of you will be excited to go on this journey with me.